Into the Ocean
by sea kelp
Summary: he didn't like her in the first place & he probably never will · kairirikusora


**Into the Ocean**

_I'm just a normal boy  
That sank when I fell overboard_

♬

Ever since the day Kairi came to the islands, life between Riku and Sora became a full-fledged rivalry.

Her friendship was something they'd compete for, even though Riku didn't even want it in the first place -- he didn't even _like _her in the first place, from her pretty eyes and dark red tresses to her brightening smile and sugary sweet laugh. It was obvious Sora did though, by the way he laughed around her and the way he talked about her and the way his eyes shimmered whenever he saw her -- and suddenly, the Sora Riku knew wasn't even whining about cooties anymore. In all honesty, he _changed_.

Riku didn't like it -- he didn't like how Sora changed because of her and he didn't like how she steals Sora away from him at every chance she could get. It's always Sora and Kairi swimming and Sora and Kairi playing tag and Sora and Kairi making sand angels -- never Sora and Riku because they were too busy racing, sparring, and competing and even though Sora thought it was still there, living and breathing and _whole_, all Riku could feel were the last bits of friendship slipping out of his grasp.

The only thing Sora appreciated any more was Kairi. But if Riku were to take her away, that would mean Sora would be _his _friend, right? It was worth a chance.

She might have drowned their friendship, but he never thought she'd cause the drowning of him.

♬

Riku doesn't know how it happened in the first place.

Riku doesn't recall anything, like how he got here or how he fell off or what he fell off from -- all he remembers is Sora crying in front of him, Kairi standing by and gripping his own hand, Kairi yelling to Sora and Sora _crying_. Crying and crying and Riku doesn't remember what happened to cause him to cry or what happened to cause Kairi to grab his hand so hard like that -- and now all Riku can feel is Ocean wrapping herself around his limbs, slipping through his fingers and engulfing his entire body and _where the fuck am I_?

Thrashing waves and Sky's heavy teardrops are all he can hear and he wants to know _what the _hell _is going on_, but it's much too dark and he's sinking way too deep and he's colder than cold should be. All he knows is that Sora's still crying and Kairi's still holding him but he doesn't _want_ her to hold him anymore. He never wanted her to in the first place.

_I want to swim away but don't know how  
_**Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean**

Riku's looking around but he sees nothing -- there's no land and no light and even if there was, he wouldn't be able to tell through all the wind and all the tears and the lack of air in his lungs. There's nothing to hold onto but that doesn't matter anymore because Riku _can't breathe _and fuck, it would all be fine if only he knew what goddamn happened in the first place. He feels as if his mind and lungs and heart are all going to burst and spill into the Ocean and he can't stop it no matter how hard he tries.

_I'm treading for my life believe me_  
**How can I keep up this breathing**

He can't hear his own screams and can't feel his limbs thrashing for solid ground and can't hear or feel or touch anything -- the boy has no more life in him to really give, but fuck no, he doesn't want to die. He's only fifteen and he still has so many things to do in his life, so many races to win and so many spars to succeed in and so many hearts to grasp and tear and break and he still has that _raft _and his friends and their promise -- but when everything all comes back to him, in little sequences littered with sand and salt water tears, he can't help but float back into space -- it's too complicated and too hurtful and Riku can't take it anymore. Trying to remember was one thing, but actually remembering it was another.

And laying in Ocean's arms and in Sky's view, they can't help but feel as if it was all their fault.

_I thought of just your face  
_**Relaxed and floated into space**

♬

Ever since the day Kairi came to the islands, Riku had the most dangerous idea of an adventure ever.

It was fool-proof, with a sturdy raft and a best friend and a week's supply of food and comfort. It's not a lot but it's enough and he never would have thought of it if it weren't for her -- she's the one who tore him away from his little prison, and even though he never liked her in the first place, from her pretty eyes and dark red tresses to her brightening smile and sugary sweet laugh, he doesn't care anymore. He doesn't care that Sora likes her, doesn't care that she takes him away all the time, doesn't care for anything except for getting onto that raft and floating away into space with his two best friends -- even if he _will never_ like her.

She might have drowned their friendship, but with that she brought him freedom. It was more than enough -- but he never thought she'd cause the drowning of him.

_Into the ocean  
e n d_ **i t**_ a l l_

♬

For **xsynthetic-smile's  
**'Nobody Dances Anymore' challenge.

And the song is _Into the Ocean_ by _Blue October_.


End file.
